Monday, December 15, 2008

Measures of time...

Measures of time

6 Months

26 Weeks
182 days
4380 hours
262,800 minutes
15,768,000 seconds ……since we last held you, kissed you, smelled you, comforted you ….

But forever, a time immeasurable, we will miss you, but you will hold us, and comfort us and continue to bring us joy.

Remembering you Toots, today and forever…
Love you Blakey,
Mommy

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Our Family tree-





This holiday's different for Chase, Daddy and Me
There's somebody missing from our family tree
The smile you beamed made every room sing
Just happy to be here only needing one thing
To love and be loved so simple so sure
You were wonderfully made, just perfect you were
You taught a young boy to be gentle yet strong
And you taught me and daddy our fears were all wrong
We learned just so much from the time you were here
Love in the moment and hold those you love near
Love and acceptance that's all that it takes
To ensure in the end a good life that it makes
Always at home we're surrounded by you
the things that you did and were going to do
We thank you for teaching us the value of days
And that all little children are unique in their ways
Sometimes when we need it the Angels surround
And help us along when we're feeling down
This Christmas is different but that doesn't mean bad
We know it's ok if at times we feel sad
We thank you for presence you've left on this place
But we ask for your guidance through hardships we face
This year someone's missing from our family tree
But just look on top, for an Angel you'll see…


We miss you Blakey, every minute buddy……..

Merry Christmas Toots

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

3 months

3 months...
Tonight @ 11:15pm will be 3 months since we held you in our arms for the final time ... we held you and kissed you for 3 hours and we talked to you and assured you that you can rest now, we will be ok... for you had done the job that you most definitely came here to do . You worked so hard in your 9 months and 22 days buddy, we're so proud of you . The way you touched our souls, your brothers soul, your families souls and anyone who was blessed to see your smiling face. You helped us all to face our lives with a new attitude. You've made my life so whole buddy, even though you are not here to hold and to smell and to hear, you are still working... we know how lucky we are to have you on our shoulders every minute... guiding us through challenging issues we may face, watching over us and helping us to lead your brother down the right path in his life... we were blessed to hold you, Our Angel, for the time that we were given. 3 months ago Buddy was the last time we held you in our arms, But for a lifetime we will hold you in our hearts, and our memories and we will live our lives hoping that we make you proud and looking forward to the day when we can see you and hold you again...
We miss you sweet Blakey, thank you for what you've given us. We live this life for you and because of you, little Toots...
On our minds every second, every day...
We love you and miss you so much sweet Angel Face,
Love,
Mommy

Monday, August 11, 2008

Finding Peace

Yesterday was our meeting at Childrens Mercy with the Surgeons and Doctors to find out what happened to Blake on Sunday 6/15, which subsequently was the day his life ended. We went into the room at CMH and I plopped pictures of Blake in the center of the table so they could see his face as we were talking. They were all very sad, hugged us and proceeded to explain the findings. First off... everything about Blake was progressing as that of a healthy 10 month old baby. His Heart, his brain, all of his organs, his muscles.. everything....perfectly healthy and thriving. But when you have surgery on your bowels you have to be careful for up to 10 years after surgery and watch for signs of infection. As soon as he showed signs, we took him to Childrens. An infection is caused by bacteria, and in order to decipher what type of bacteria is causing the infection, a culture is taken and they have to "grow" the bacteria in a lab to identify it. This can take one to two days in a lab. The doctors were shocked to find that the type of bacteria Blake had was basically unheard of... there are only 4 documented cases in medical journals of this type of bacteria , which all led to death. This bacteria is very deadly..we all harbor it in our bowels, but when it decides to play for the other team, it will attack your organs, very rapidly and cause organ failure, which in the end it entered his blood stream, attacked his heart and he died. Unfortunately they could not tell us the type of bacteria he had that morning, because of the length of time it takes to grow...had they known it was of this type, the only thing that may have been different would have been them being able to tell us he would most likely die. The same course of action to treat him would have been taken to fight it..., Antibiotics, IV fluids and pain medication. They do not deny that all factors played a part in how quickly he died...how dehydrated he was even with IV fluids, medication for pain and sometimes even antibiotics can fuel a bacterial infection, the infection was way too strong and he was just too weak to fight......There is only one way though to treat infection, and that is with all of the above treatments. In the other cases the babies lived sometimes up to 6 weeks fighting this off, but in the end, the results were the same, multiorgan failure and death. The doctors said they had a huge meeting and talked about this very rare bacteria, and the fact that CMH itself has never seen a case like this... they are all as shocked and heartbroken as us. We know they loved him and really tried very hard to save him. Dave and I are at peace knowing he did not suffer and later when Chase is old enough, we will explain it to him. At 1045p when his systems started to fail they worked for 30 minutes trying to save little Toots and we are at peace knowing that during the 27th minute of trying to revive his little body that they did not..he would have likely been on life support, maybe for the rest of his life and we believe he had enough challenges to face, Blake deserved the best possible Quality of life... we don't believe quality is defined by quantity. The doctors told us what they learned from him and how he affected them... they loved him, and we know he was in the best possible care at CMH. Anyone that knows me, knows I am a question asker and I asked many questions...the doctors also said to please know this is not it for them, if we want to meet 10 more times and ask questions we can. Today we are choosing to heal over question... and we hope this brings you all a little peace as well. He definitely made medical history being only the 4th documented case and we are certain they will learn from him, as we all have as well. We know he did not suffer, and we know every minute of his 9 months and 22 days were happy, and the biggest blessing of our life.

We hope you can feel some peace just knowing you are sleeping among an Angel every night... we are finding a little more peace each day, and you are all a great contributor to that.

We love you all and please know you can ask me anything if you have questions...

Love and so so many Thanks to you all-
Kelly, Dave and Chase Greeninger

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Shoulders and Shoes

Smiley face baby, we miss you.

We missed you today and yesterday and we will miss you tomorrow.  During these next months Blakey, we will need help so we know, there will be many shoulders we will need to borrow …..mostly Daddy's shoulders for me…and probably mine for him…

Shoulders are great, huh Toots… how many nights did you fall asleep with your cheek pressed tightly up against Daddy's, or mine…that was your favorite spot, when we would finally tuck you into your bed after dozing off there would be a big ole drool spot on our shirt from your sweet little mouth because you were so comfy and off in dream land. I loved having you tucked into my shoulder and patting your little bottom until I would hear you soundly sleeping.

Right now our shoulders are heavy, they're not that comfy spot they used to be, they are carrying a load that we never imagined we were strong enough to carry… we haven't been working out, so we're not real sure where we've mustered up the strength to keep carrying this load- but we think that comes from you, … YOU … the protector of all shoulders, YOU the giver of strength and YOU the keeper of all things comfy.

Our feet hurt from carrying this load on our shoulders but its just because of these shoes we've been given… they are new shoes and new shoes usually hurt, eventually we know these shoes will become worn because this will be a longer walk than usual, they will become more broken in and more bearable and eventually we will have other shoes that we will begin to wear. But for now we wear these shoes …we will not ask anyone else to wear them to break them in even though we know others would and others have. We will take this long walk, carry this heavy load because we absolutely know, at the end of this very long path, …..we are certain… you will be there waiting for us and our shoulders and our feet will hurt no more.

We miss you every minute Blakey-

Foerever love,

Mommy, Daddy and Chase

Monday, June 16, 2008

Goodnight sweet Angel...

Last night @ 1115pm, we had to give him back to you, we weren't ready too yet but we know that he is yours and that you were only lending him to us for the time we had. We hope that we made you proud and we want you to know that we're not done yet... and that he's not done yet. He will continue to work in our lives...we promise. Please promise us that he is happy, and healthy and being taken care of.... somehow, please show me.

Thank you for Choosing us

And please make sure he always has a comfy shoulder to rest on when he is not on one of ours...

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Blakeys Belly isn't feeling good today...

Hello all-… We had to take Blake to the hospital early Sunday morning he wasn’t eating much over the weekend and had thrown up on Friday. I got nervous that his belly was infected- something they told us to watch for Enterocolitis. He is in Childrens Mercy and has this infection. He is on IV fluids and Antibiotics to try and get him well again and get rid of the infection. I think he will be in for a couple days… he’s very strong and will be ok- but I don’t know when this week I’ll be back guys- … … but I will make sure and keep you guys updated, ok.

Thanks so much- and always feel free to call my cell- the signals not the best at the hospital but leave me a message and I will call you back- Happy Fathers Day everyone !!!

Thanks all- say a little prayer for our Happy Toots, k-

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Update from KC












Good Morning Friends-…

We hope you all are doing well and enjoying the AWESOME weather - YAY- finally spring !!! I was actually in St Louis for the earthquake, and now that I know there were no injuries, can I just say- THAT WAS SOOOO COOL- my mind never even went to the thought that it was an earthquake, I thought the wind was coming in from the window and shaking the mirror on the wall-… - what a Midwesterner I am-…

Just wanted to send you all a quick update-… Chase started Tball and we are sooo excited for this kind of stuff to begin in our lives- the runnin, the dirt, and everything that comes along with raising an active little stinker- he’s doing so well with listening to the Coach and being a team player, ..we’re so proud of him.

Blake is doing amazing- he will be 8 months old tomorrow already- Geez… ! His belly is working the way it should and he is loving having real food ( ok baby food, but solid none the less)- He loves everything so far- and uh hem, its coming out when it should now- LOL

I can say I’m getting a little antsy for Blakey to sit up on his own and he is working his little muscles really hard in therapy to get the strength to master this amazing feat- … he is sitting in his little chair like a big boy, but I can’t wait for that day when finally, we sit him on the floor and he puts his head up tall , shoulders back and gives us that look of - “ Let go Mom, this time… I got it !!! …

We cant wait to let you all know when it happens and when it does you will hear the cheers from KC and the echos from the baby high fives …

Baby steps……

We love you all and send lots of hugs

Monday, March 10, 2008

Blakey is home for good- ALL done...








Good Morning friends-
Just sending a quick final update that we were able to bring our little sweetie home on Saturday- he is doing so well- … he does have really bad diaper rash though because I don't think his bottom is used to getting this kind of workout-…but if that's the worst to report, then we are doing awesome !
Just need to make sure he doesn't develop intercolitis ( belly infection) and then we are in the all clear !
Thank you everyone for your amazing words, advice, stories, and most of all your love-… you all have been our sounding boards it seems since he arrived in August and without your guidance we would have been very scared and lonely through all of this- thank you for coming with us on this little journey and for showing us the way home-
Have a wonderful week-
Love to you all-
Kel

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Blakeys surgery

And Exhale ……..ahhhh……
Blake went into surgery yesterday at 930a- and got out at around 430p-… and it went smoo oo ooth as silk- !! That kid, I tell ya- he is a resilient little toots. That was a pretty long surgery, but they called us at least every couple hours just to reassure us that everything was going as planned, it lasted a little longer than they had anticipated, but for no other reason other than it just did-… Everything went great !! His bad parts are gone, good parts all back together and within an hour of being out of surgery he opened his eyes, saw all of us and drifted off to sleep. He hardly made a peep all night long other than maybe just a wimper here and there because he was dreamin of an Old country buffet somewhere in baby land. He is doing so good and has "gone" 3 times today and has nothing attached to him except an IV for hydration until he can have his 1st feeding on Wed sometime and a few monitors on him.
We will probably bring him home this weekend, very latest Monday.
We are so grateful and lucky for all of this good news. We know we haven't quite made it to the finish line yet, but have certainly rounded the last curve of this lap and are finally approaching the home stretch-… we thank God for you all and for this life-…
Thank you friends-
Love you all and sending our love from KC-
Kel and Fam

Friday, February 29, 2008

Step 2-

And Step 2 is complete !!
Everything went just as planned over the last couple of days for Blake. He went into surgery early yesterday morning- they inserted the scope and then we all went back up to the room, and the doctor stayed with us all day measuring Blakes internal movements and how things are contracting… just to make sure when he is fixed up, all the parts they think are good, are good !...
So, we check into Childrens Mercy on Monday, and Tuesday is the big day - probably early in the morning- …then if all goes as planned we will be safe at home with all hands back on deck by that following weekend.
We are doing wonderful, honestly. Let me tell ya, while we were in the surgery waiting area we heard a doctor come over to a big ole family and tell them that their little 4 month old now went from a 4 chamber heart to a 2 chamber heart. I know everyone's hardships in life are their own, and they are just as big to them as anything when its your baby… but we really do know how lucky we are and have realized that when its given to you, …you just go through it- you don't ever think you can ..but when its yours to handle-.. you handle it-…
We are looking forward to some down time this weekend at home together… and are ready for Monday to come and this next week to zoom by in our life and then movin it on to the next chapter.
Thank you All for your love and support-… more updates next week-
Love to you all-
Kel

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Welcome home Blake



Step 1- complete !!

Sorry for the delay in updates, but until Yesterday we didn't have much to update-...but.....

Yippee- Blakey came home yesterday..... Now I know we keep telling him to take his time at stuff and we will not rush him, ...but come on little toots- 12 days-.....we get it, the nurses are pretty, the crib had cool buttons- but little mister ... lets just get er done , mmm k- !! He slept for like 3 hours the moment we pulled out of the parking garage..., I think just the familiar sounds of home helped him reach such a relaxing deep comfortable baby sleep-

Here's the latest- he is over the hump on his RSV and doing excellent-... he is breathing perfectly, looks great and back to his normal little self... the plan is the first week of Feb we meet with the Surgeons, and we are so blessed to have been assigned to one of the top Pediatric Surgeons in the world... first week in Feb the are doing a Manometry Study which is an hour surgery where he goes under anestesia, is intubated and they fill his little insides up to see how things "move" and to make sure the good parts of his intestines work the way they should- then he wakes up- we take him home and a couple weeks later they will do the 3 hour Surgery and actually remove the part of the intestines/colon that aren't working, ..reconnect and then he will stay for a week or so... The first surgery is to study Blakes insides and to see how he tolerates all these invasive things.

Here's what I think and a wise friend also said-........ Thank goodness we ran into the little girl with RSV and actually that he got it-... this prolonged our stay at the hospital, yes, .... but it also gave us much more time to ask questions, meet the staff, it gave Blake more time to adjust to all these little procedures they are doing, and to get used to people poking , checking, and machines beeping- ...so it won't be such a huge shock to him when all the big stuff is going on. Dave and I also have more time now to prepare emotionally and to talk to Chase about this a little more.

So ... Step 1 is complete... A + Blakey !!!!!!!! You little star-

We really love you all so much- and are so grateful to you and all your awesome words of advice and prayers-... gosh we're lucky-...

Much love-
The Greeninger Fam- xoxoxo

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Blakey Update # 2- no pun intended

Hi All-... just wanted to send a quick update on Blakey-... today is Wed, and Blake is still at Childrens Mercy in KC. Monday I went to the car, and as I was walking back, I noticed a little girl who looked really familiar-... so I said to her Mom- "Does she go to ABC Preschool"...and she said- Yes she does- and I said, I think she's in Blakes Baby room- Why are you here ?... The mother told me she has RSV-... RSV is a highly contagious Respiratory Virus-... so that evening we met with the Surgeons- and I mentioned running into this little girl-... so they tested Blakey for RSV for precaution and his test came back positive for RSV. He is now still in the hospital and is fighting off this infection- and on oxygen. They cannot do surgery on a tiny little guy, unless he is little lungs are clear- anything in the lungs could keep him from waking up from surgery, or he could aspirate-....so we have to postpone it for a bit and keep his little intestines clear until surgery-...they showed us how to do it at home and its really a breeze-...doesn't bother him at all- So as soon as Blake is off oxygen he will be coming home- He will have surgery scheduled 6 weeks from the time he gets rid of this virus. Blake is really doing wonderful-...still being his smiley ole little toot self- and I have to say, I've never met nicer hospital staff in my life-...he is getting tons of loving while he's there and making the most of his time by practicing his toe touches and cooin.. and a little flirtin here and there- I think I saw him wink at one of the nurses-...
Blakey will be home from the time he's released until his surgery to stay away from germs and stay well-...and he will be hospitalized for a week after surgery-... We are hoping he will get to come home tomorrow-
I'll let you all know more as it comes ok-...
Thank you all for all your kind words, prayers and responses-...
Much love from the Western State line !
Love yas
Kel, Dave, Chase and Blake-a-roonie
xoxo

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Blakey Update # 1

Hi All- Friday Blakey just wasn't himself- and his belly was really big and hard- so I took him to the doctor and asked if he could have Hirschsprungs disease ( I read about it and its prevelant in kids with DS ) .. he's always been so bloated and doesn't "Go" like he should- ... so they thought it would be best if we took him to the hospital ... so off we went- to Childrens Mercy here in KC. We went to the ER at about 5p- and at midnight they decided they should admit him-... we've been there since Friday- he had a barium test this morning and sure enough- he has this intestinal disease ...a part of his intestines is too small to work properly. He has another test scheduled for Monday morning where they will go in and clip a part off of his intestines and do a biopsy to test for Ganglionic cells and on Tuesday we will know more-... He will have to have surgery this week and they will take out the nonfunctioning part of the intestines and reconnect the good parts together. He is on IV fluids since he can't eat anything and antibiotics for infection. ... I don't know a whole lot right now. but this I do know.. Blake is happy - and healthy- he is not sick from this, we caught it before it made him sick-... the bloating was a foreshadowing of something worse to come, had we not gotten this taken care of.
Blake is strong, he is happy- and he is just in for some body work-... he will come out later this week like a shiny new little coupe ready and rarein to go-
I will write more later when we know-

Love you All-

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

The New year...

The New year

I am an unspoiled page in your book of time. I am your next chance at the art of living. I am your opportunity to practice what you have learned about life during the last twelve months. All that you sought and didn't find is hidden in me, waiting for you to search it out with more determination. All the good that you tried for and didn't achieve is mine to grant when you have fewer conflicting desires. All that you dreamed but didn't dare to do, all that you hoped but did not will, all the faith that you claimed but did not have -these slumber lightly,waiting to be awakened by the touch of a strong purpose.


I am your opportunity

I am the new year.