3 months

3 months...
Tonight @ 11:15pm will be 3 months since we held you in our arms for the final time ... we held you and kissed you for 3 hours and we talked to you and assured you that you can rest now, we will be ok... for you had done the job that you most definitely came here to do . You worked so hard in your 9 months and 22 days buddy, we're so proud of you . The way you touched our souls, your brothers soul, your families souls and anyone who was blessed to see your smiling face. You helped us all to face our lives with a new attitude. You've made my life so whole buddy, even though you are not here to hold and to smell and to hear, you are still working... we know how lucky we are to have you on our shoulders every minute... guiding us through challenging issues we may face, watching over us and helping us to lead your brother down the right path in his life... we were blessed to hold you, Our Angel, for the time that we were given. 3 months ago Buddy was the last time we held you in our arms, But for a lifetime we will hold you in our hearts, and our memories and we will live our lives hoping that we make you proud and looking forward to the day when we can see you and hold you again...
We miss you sweet Blakey, thank you for what you've given us. We live this life for you and because of you, little Toots...
On our minds every second, every day...
We love you and miss you so much sweet Angel Face,
Love,
Mommy

Finding Peace

Yesterday was our meeting at Childrens Mercy with the Surgeons and Doctors to find out what happened to Blake on Sunday 6/15, which subsequently was the day his life ended. We went into the room at CMH and I plopped pictures of Blake in the center of the table so they could see his face as we were talking. They were all very sad, hugged us and proceeded to explain the findings. First off... everything about Blake was progressing as that of a healthy 10 month old baby. His Heart, his brain, all of his organs, his muscles.. everything....perfectly healthy and thriving. But when you have surgery on your bowels you have to be careful for up to 10 years after surgery and watch for signs of infection. As soon as he showed signs, we took him to Childrens. An infection is caused by bacteria, and in order to decipher what type of bacteria is causing the infection, a culture is taken and they have to "grow" the bacteria in a lab to identify it. This can take one to two days in a lab. The doctors were shocked to find that the type of bacteria Blake had was basically unheard of... there are only 4 documented cases in medical journals of this type of bacteria , which all led to death. This bacteria is very deadly..we all harbor it in our bowels, but when it decides to play for the other team, it will attack your organs, very rapidly and cause organ failure, which in the end it entered his blood stream, attacked his heart and he died. Unfortunately they could not tell us the type of bacteria he had that morning, because of the length of time it takes to grow...had they known it was of this type, the only thing that may have been different would have been them being able to tell us he would most likely die. The same course of action to treat him would have been taken to fight it..., Antibiotics, IV fluids and pain medication. They do not deny that all factors played a part in how quickly he died...how dehydrated he was even with IV fluids, medication for pain and sometimes even antibiotics can fuel a bacterial infection, the infection was way too strong and he was just too weak to fight......There is only one way though to treat infection, and that is with all of the above treatments. In the other cases the babies lived sometimes up to 6 weeks fighting this off, but in the end, the results were the same, multiorgan failure and death. The doctors said they had a huge meeting and talked about this very rare bacteria, and the fact that CMH itself has never seen a case like this... they are all as shocked and heartbroken as us. We know they loved him and really tried very hard to save him. Dave and I are at peace knowing he did not suffer and later when Chase is old enough, we will explain it to him. At 1045p when his systems started to fail they worked for 30 minutes trying to save little Toots and we are at peace knowing that during the 27th minute of trying to revive his little body that they did not..he would have likely been on life support, maybe for the rest of his life and we believe he had enough challenges to face, Blake deserved the best possible Quality of life... we don't believe quality is defined by quantity. The doctors told us what they learned from him and how he affected them... they loved him, and we know he was in the best possible care at CMH. Anyone that knows me, knows I am a question asker and I asked many questions...the doctors also said to please know this is not it for them, if we want to meet 10 more times and ask questions we can. Today we are choosing to heal over question... and we hope this brings you all a little peace as well. He definitely made medical history being only the 4th documented case and we are certain they will learn from him, as we all have as well. We know he did not suffer, and we know every minute of his 9 months and 22 days were happy, and the biggest blessing of our life.

We hope you can feel some peace just knowing you are sleeping among an Angel every night... we are finding a little more peace each day, and you are all a great contributor to that.

We love you all and please know you can ask me anything if you have questions...

Love and so so many Thanks to you all-
Kelly, Dave and Chase Greeninger

Shoulders and Shoes

Smiley face baby, we miss you.

We missed you today and yesterday and we will miss you tomorrow.  During these next months Blakey, we will need help so we know, there will be many shoulders we will need to borrow …..mostly Daddy's shoulders for me…and probably mine for him…

Shoulders are great, huh Toots… how many nights did you fall asleep with your cheek pressed tightly up against Daddy's, or mine…that was your favorite spot, when we would finally tuck you into your bed after dozing off there would be a big ole drool spot on our shirt from your sweet little mouth because you were so comfy and off in dream land. I loved having you tucked into my shoulder and patting your little bottom until I would hear you soundly sleeping.

Right now our shoulders are heavy, they're not that comfy spot they used to be, they are carrying a load that we never imagined we were strong enough to carry… we haven't been working out, so we're not real sure where we've mustered up the strength to keep carrying this load- but we think that comes from you, … YOU … the protector of all shoulders, YOU the giver of strength and YOU the keeper of all things comfy.

Our feet hurt from carrying this load on our shoulders but its just because of these shoes we've been given… they are new shoes and new shoes usually hurt, eventually we know these shoes will become worn because this will be a longer walk than usual, they will become more broken in and more bearable and eventually we will have other shoes that we will begin to wear. But for now we wear these shoes …we will not ask anyone else to wear them to break them in even though we know others would and others have. We will take this long walk, carry this heavy load because we absolutely know, at the end of this very long path, …..we are certain… you will be there waiting for us and our shoulders and our feet will hurt no more.

We miss you every minute Blakey-

Foerever love,

Mommy, Daddy and Chase

Goodnight sweet Angel...

Last night @ 1115pm, we had to give him back to you, we weren't ready too yet but we know that he is yours and that you were only lending him to us for the time we had. We hope that we made you proud and we want you to know that we're not done yet... and that he's not done yet. He will continue to work in our lives...we promise. Please promise us that he is happy, and healthy and being taken care of.... somehow, please show me.

Thank you for Choosing us
And please make sure he always has a comfy shoulder to rest on when he is not on one of ours...

Blakeys Belly isn't feeling good today...

Hello all-… We had to take Blake to the hospital early Sunday morning he wasn’t eating much over the weekend and had thrown up on Friday. I got nervous that his belly was infected- something they told us to watch for Enterocolitis. He is in Childrens Mercy and has this infection. He is on IV fluids and Antibiotics to try and get him well again and get rid of the infection. I think he will be in for a couple days… he’s very strong and will be ok- but I don’t know when this week I’ll be back guys- … … but I will make sure and keep you guys updated, ok.

Thanks so much- and always feel free to call my cell- the signals not the best at the hospital but leave me a message and I will call you back- Happy Fathers Day everyone !!!

Thanks all- say a little prayer for our Happy Toots, k-

Update from KC

Good Morning Friends-…

We hope you all are doing well and enjoying the AWESOME weather - YAY- finally spring !!! I was actually in St Louis for the earthquake, and now that I know there were no injuries, can I just say- THAT WAS SOOOO COOL- my mind never even went to the thought that it was an earthquake, I thought the wind was coming in from the window and shaking the mirror on the wall-… - what a Midwesterner I am-…

Just wanted to send you all a quick update-… Chase started Tball and we are sooo excited for this kind of stuff to begin in our lives- the runnin, the dirt, and everything that comes along with raising an active little stinker- he’s doing so well with listening to the Coach and being a team player, ..we’re so proud of him.

Blake is doing amazing- he will be 8 months old tomorrow already- Geez… ! His belly is working the way it should and he is loving having real food ( ok baby food, but solid none the less)- He loves everything so far- and uh hem, its coming out when it should now- LOL

I can say I’m getting a little antsy for Blakey to sit up on his own and he is working his little muscles really hard in therapy to get the strength to master this amazing feat- … he is sitting in his little chair like a big boy, but I can’t wait for that day when finally, we sit him on the floor and he puts his head up tall , shoulders back and gives us that look of - “ Let go Mom, this time… I got it !!! …

We cant wait to let you all know when it happens and when it does you will hear the cheers from KC and the echos from the baby high fives …

Baby steps……

We love you all and send lots of hugs

Blakey is home for good- ALL done...

Good Morning friends-
Just sending a quick final update that we were able to bring our little sweetie home on Saturday- he is doing so well- … he does have really bad diaper rash though because I don't think his bottom is used to getting this kind of workout-…but if that's the worst to report, then we are doing awesome !
Just need to make sure he doesn't develop intercolitis ( belly infection) and then we are in the all clear !
Thank you everyone for your amazing words, advice, stories, and most of all your love-… you all have been our sounding boards it seems since he arrived in August and without your guidance we would have been very scared and lonely through all of this- thank you for coming with us on this little journey and for showing us the way home-
Have a wonderful week-
Love to you all-
Kel