Hanging on.....and letting go...

We all have it ... its that one thing (if we're lucky its just one).... the thing we've known for so long that we just need to do, like a pit in our stomach- something we need to recognize, to tackle and take care of.... Going to visit someone you know you should of gone to see weeks, even months ago, making a phone call because facebook and texting have been your outs but you know they aren't cutting it... having a conversation with that one person you need to talk too and tell them how you really feel.. It could be visiting a grave and really letting go of the things you never got to say before they were gone ... or it could just be saying goodbye to something or someone that no longer adds quality.

These are all things we let hover over our heads everyday... we hang on to these "mind blocks" because they are important to us and we don't want to forget about them and what we need to do.....But no matter how much time goes by, that "thing" never goes away... It just builds...and gets bigger..... and it will continue to grow while stunting your own growth..........
Until you just do what needs to be done...
Say what needs to be said...
Feel what needs to be felt
..................and when you're done you have to let it go.

Hang on to the things that are a constant in your life and are positive... rely on those things that make you happy and make you feel good about YOU......... you deserve that peace.

Life is Simple, it's just not easy.................

Reflecting....

3 years ago I held you... It's like it was just last night but it feels like its been a lifetime. I remember everything...your smell... you always smelled amazing... the clothes I had on, the clothes you had on.. , the look on that nurses face from across the table as they tried to save you... and the look on Daddys face as he rushed through that door moments after your heart stopped beating and finally, I remember the very moment I watched your little soul leave your body, I watched your face change a bit as it did....as if it hovered just for a moment to make sure we were going to be ok......... and then it went.......

I remember wondering... how will our life ever go on... how will we survive ?

I often wonder if certain things hadn't happened how would life be for us ? I still feel like I'm lucky- we are lucky for the life experiences we have had so far... soo many good- and some a bit harder to see the good... but they've made us this family...this unit. I think we are stronger than ever. Dave and I both thank each other often..and we both think the other does more than ourself... he once said to me... See babe- that's why we're always going to stay strong and happy, ..We are grateful... for each other... He is right...

Days like today are a reflection... not necessarily a bad day, or an even more sad day than others... but a day to really consider things and reflect. Am I on a good path....is my family thriving... is there something I could be doing that maybe I'm not... or should I be more passionate about something I've been meaning to be ? I think this is proof that our life lessons are working and still teaching us... a reminder that if you walk in the garden and your roses aren't growing as big as you'd like or as vibrant........... it is time to pick the weeds. Get rid of the things and really be done with anything that is keeping your life from flourishing. These are the things that are important... real life stuff....

I miss that little boy more than any feeling in this world... I cannot compare any other instance or put into words how it feels everyday to wake up knowing I have a child in heaven and not here.... But I can see him working in our lives, our families lives and all of our true friends lives and it makes me feel like he is still here...and still mine.

I love our reflection, he is part of it....and I love our life....

We are very lucky
XO